I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
