So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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