I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Apparently you make a good broom.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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