your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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