Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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