brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
