Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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