DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
