shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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