He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize