Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize