I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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