Buhtt sex?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
