just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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