There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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