I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize