thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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