there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
