the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize