Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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