these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
