All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
