apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
