i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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