Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
