Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
