your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
false alarm. still invincible.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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