if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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