Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
