xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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