I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
