We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
