he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
