Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We got so high we made milksteak
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
