The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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