i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize