If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
