We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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