i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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