Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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