I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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