whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
