Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
that is very illegal...i love you.
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