Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
