out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
