to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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