So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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