I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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