Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
