I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
