dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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