My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
