Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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