im gay
i know
yea but for you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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