Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We need to get me chipped asap
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
