All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
