So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
