wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He has the fingertips of a God
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
