woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
