Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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