I showed him my bush... on skype.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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