I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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