and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
