we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
