But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
