My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Don't EVER smell your tampon
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
