I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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